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Sweden Self Catering holiday properties in and around Dalarna

Idre Stroemmen in Dalarna

. Dalarna. Sweden
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From £loading... for 7 nights

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I have never been so relieved to see a wooden moose in my entire life. There it stood, three feet tall and painted an aggressively cheerful shade of red, marking the turnoff to our stuga in Idre Strommen. I had just spent forty minutes convinced we were driving into Norway by mistake, my partner Mark stubbornly insisting the satnav knew best while I clutched a printed map like a pensioner at a bus stop. Turns out the moose was right and technology was wrong. Some lessons arrive painted red and wearing antlers.

The journey from Mora had been spectacular in that exhausting Scandinavian way - endless forests, lakes that looked like spilled ink, and the nagging feeling that civilisation had gently packed its bags and left. We stopped once at a petrol station near Alvdalen where the coffee cost more than our lunch and a man in overalls asked if we were "the English couple lost since Falun." Word travels fast in Dalarna, apparently through some network of petrol station attendants and forest elves.

Our stuga sat at the edge of a clearing, red paint fading to that particular Swedish pink where the wood shows through like a blush. Mark reversed into what I confidently identified as "the parking area" and immediately grounded the hire car on a rock that had been there since the Ice Age, judging by its stubbornness. Three men materialised from nowhere - I am still uncertain from which direction - and simply lifted the car while Mark sat in the driver's seat making small whimpering noises. They introduced themselves as Gunnar, Gunnar, and Bengt, which caused some confusion until the elder Gunnar explained they were brothers-in-law and "someone had to be Bengt, it was law."

Elder Gunnar, it emerged, had built our stuga himself in 1987 during a particularly determined midsummer week. He spoke about it the way my uncle speaks about his failed marriage, with a mixture of pride and faint bafflement at how it had turned out. Younger Gunnar - though still roughly sixty - kept interrupting to point out structural improvements he had suggested and been ignored about. Bengt said nothing for twenty minutes, then produced a flask of something that made my eyes water and announced he was "the clever one, obviously."

We learned the immediate area in fragments, delivered through this peculiar overlapping conversation. The stream behind the stuga contained trout that Bengt described as "educated, the bastards" due to their refusal to be caught. A path led to a lake where elder Gunnar's wife had once seen an elk and still talked about it at every family gathering, "as if she discovered America." The nearest proper shop was seven kilometres away and run by a woman called Kerstin who had strong opinions about British tourists and their inability to handle proper bread.

Mark attempted to demonstrate his bread-handling credentials by mentioning sourdough, which caused all three men to laugh until Bengt had to sit down on our rock.

Kerstin herself appeared that evening, apparently summoned by some sixth sense that foreigners were discussing her. She came bearing cinnamon buns and interrogation, establishing within minutes that we had no fishing licence, no berry-picking permit, and no business being so useless at reversing. She softened slightly when I admitted grounding the car, saying it happened to "all the English, you have no rocks there." Before I could defend our geological honour, she had produced forms, explained the local sauna rotation schedule with military precision, and departed with our promise to visit her shop tomorrow and "not buy the white bread, it is for emergencies only."

That night, Mark and I sat on the small deck with Bengt's flask - he had left it, apparently as a test or possibly a trap - and listened to nothing. Absolute, complete, forest nothing, broken occasionally by what might have been an elk or might have been a very confident branch. I thought about the three men lifting our car, Kerstin's cinnamon-fuelled efficiency, the way everyone here seemed to operate on a frequency of helpfulness that assumed you would eventually catch up.

We had come for isolation and found something slightly different. Not community exactly, but its shadow - people who appeared when needed, delivered opinions and alcohol, then dissolved back into trees and stories. I was not certain if we were being welcomed or assessed, possibly both simultaneously in that particular Swedish way.

Mark poured more of Bengt's mystery spirit and declared he would catch one of those educated trout tomorrow. I did not point out that he had never held a fishing rod, that the permit remained unsigned, that elder Gunnar had already offered to lend him equipment with the expression of a man who knows how a story ends. Some holiday lessons arrive slowly, through repeated exposure to friendly mockery and strong spirits.

The red moose watched from the turnoff, patient and painted, as darkness finally arrived and the forest swallowed everything but our small lit window.
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